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For those of you who wondered - One of the "substitute people" — LiveJournal
Can I substitute for Kirsten?
araestel
araestel
For those of you who wondered
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jack4will From: jack4will Date: July 6th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
*huggles very hard* Just take your time girlfriend. We are all here for you.

That poem is very lovely. Funerals are always hard to get through I know.

If you need to talk just send me an email.
araestel From: araestel Date: July 6th, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks hon--I appreciate it.

I'd kinda been through this before when my grandmother died--she was as much a mother to me as mom was. I had them both as a match set and it really tore me up when she passed. I honestly still have not ever stopped missing her. At least I cried for her. Mom's death has turned me so completely inside out, I haven't really even had a good cry. Moments here and there get to me. The shower is the worst. I always cry in the shower. GO figure. But with all the other things this has brought up, I just feel too... I don't even know what--to even cry yet.

Thanks honey! *hugs*
jack4will From: jack4will Date: July 6th, 2007 09:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh I know how it can be. I haven't really cried for any of my grandparents funerals or even my step father's. They still hurt and I remember them with fondness. Though my family says that they know I can't stand funerals. Ever since my grandfather died during my parents divorce when I was 16. I can't even remember what happened then. It's completely blocked in my memory.

*hugs and smooches* Love you girlfriend.
araestel From: araestel Date: July 6th, 2007 09:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Considering all the trauma you were going through with at the time, no wonder you can't remember it!

I know I *need* to cry. And I also know that her loss is what's keeping me awake at night or waking me up at nights so that I can't get sleep. I'm reasonable and I understand this. It's just that along with all of this, everything I've ever known--that I'd be comfortable financially after their death is gone. And since I have no income and they've paid for my rent, meds, bills, etc. while I've tried to get social security, my whole future is up in the air now. So I think I have every right to be sick, on edge and not coping very well.
jack4will From: jack4will Date: July 6th, 2007 09:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
That is true. *hugs*

As for you just take it one day at a time. *hugs and smooches*
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