*sigh*

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06:22 pm July 9th, 2005

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			One of the "substitute people" Can I substitute for Kirsten?

araestel


	sigh
	Only 15 more pages until I catch up. wee ha. Ever have one of those days where you feel lonely and unloved? Having one. Feeling like I've lost one of my best friends and I don't even know why. All I know is I feel very alone these past few days. Add in pc issues, electricity issues and continual pain... pretty much over it. ANd finding out I might have another illness--well, let's just say it adds heaps of sunny thoughts to my already overloaded sleep-deprived brain. I miss things of the past. Things I didn't know I'd miss so much. But I do. Current Mood: sad Current Music: "Fractured Love" Def Leppard

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	Comments

	From: jenlynn820	Date: July 9th, 2005 03:32 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Awww *HUGS* I feel that way too sometimes. I'm sorry you're not feeling well though. *hugsagain*

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 03:37 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Thanks honey! *hugs* I just can't figure out what would have made things change so drastically. Maybe it's my imagination, but it just seems she's pulled so far away from me and I can't figure out why. We're just friends. The best of friends. And I'm so straight it's scary. LOL So it's not like I was doing anything to set her on edge like being suggestive. I just don't get it.

It's just left me feeling very empty.

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	From: jenlynn820	Date: July 9th, 2005 08:00 pm (UTC)		(Link)

I'm sorry sweetie, that's awful :(

*huggles*

Oh, btw, your Paris icon is adorable :) Do you happen to have that pic or cap or whatever it is?

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 08:07 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Do you want the original or the one I retouched? I'll mail it to you as soon as I know which you want. (and thanks--I have a soft spot for Paris).

Yeah, the whole situation is frustrating because I just don't know what to do.

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	From: jenlynn820	Date: July 9th, 2005 08:11 pm (UTC)		(Link)

You can send both, that would be great :) *Hugs*

About the other stuff, hang in there hon, maybe it'll sort itself out

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 08:19 pm (UTC)		(Link)

I hope you're right. I'll go find the pics and e-mail them both to you.

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	From: jenlynn820	Date: July 9th, 2005 08:22 pm (UTC)		(Link)

thanks sweetie :)

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 08:29 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Surely! They're on their way.

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	From: zee113	Date: July 9th, 2005 03:46 pm (UTC)		(Link)

*offers silent sympathy and love*

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 04:42 pm (UTC)		(Link)

*hugs* Thank you.

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	From: _sweetangel	Date: July 9th, 2005 03:49 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Awwwwwwwwww sweetheart. *hugs you tightly* I think I can relate to how you feel about feeling lonely and unloved, plus on the health issue it is the full story of my young life. *infinity of hugs* I am here if you ever need to talk, to vent, to be listened, to be loved, and to feel less lonely. I know we have met recently, but it does not change an inch of my sincerity for you.

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 04:43 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Thanks, hon. You're too sweet. I will definitely keep that in mind. *hugs*

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	From: maubast	Date: July 9th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Ever have one of those days where you feel lonely and unloved

Every single day.

Wish I could make things better for you.

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 06:03 pm (UTC)		(Link)

I know. And you do more than I can ever vocalize. *hugs*

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	From: maubast	Date: July 9th, 2005 06:05 pm (UTC)		(Link)

*hugs* I love you, you know.

(BTW, I love your icon!)

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 06:08 pm (UTC)		(Link)

LOL I love you too, and which icon? *snerk* yours or mine? heh heh

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	From: maubast	Date: July 9th, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC)		(Link)

:P *both of them*

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 06:23 pm (UTC)		(Link)

*hugs*

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	From: faramir_boromir	Date: July 9th, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC)		(Link)

*passes you cup of tea* Doesn't always work, but sometimes it makes the blues go away. Hope tomorrow's better, luv.

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 07:55 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Thanks honey--you're too sweet. *hugs*

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	From: ladybluelove	Date: July 9th, 2005 07:46 pm (UTC)		(Link)

*Sends you good thoughts and a big hug* Lbl~

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 07:56 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Thanks so much. I really do appreciate it. *hugs*

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	From: redrouged	Date: July 9th, 2005 09:57 pm (UTC)		(Link)

*offers hugs* hope you feel better sooon :)

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	From: araestel	Date: July 9th, 2005 10:08 pm (UTC)		(Link)

Thank you! *hugs*

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	From: nikitas_lair	Date: July 10th, 2005 12:02 am (UTC)		(Link)

*Lots of Hugs*

I'm sorry you feel this way. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take away all the pain, sadness and bad things that are happening. Hope you know your friends are here for you, ok?

I hope this doesn't happen but if you ever have another day like this, IM me ok? nikitas_lair1215.
You've been there for me with kind words and support so I'm offering the same.

You are a really good person who's there when someone needs help and know that you're not alone. We're here for you and will stick by you, listen, support and know that we care.

I want to thank you again, you are a strong, kind, generous person.

*More hugs*

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	From: araestel	Date: July 10th, 2005 09:38 am (UTC)		(Link)

Thanks so much, honey. I really do appreciate it.

I know I'm not alone, but feeling like I'm losing someone I care so much about just brings those feelings to the forefront. They've always lingered just under the surface, probably back to when I was a small child. I have a wonderful roommate/sister

wav who is the best friend anyone could ever ask for and my sis

maubast who is the best ever. So I'm really not alone. I just get in these moods sometimes and no amount of Prozac seems to help.

I'm hoping today will be better. Though waking up with a severe leg cramp on the side I'm having so much pain, doesn't bode well for the rest of the day. Oy with the pain already!

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	26 comments or Leave a comment

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User: araestel Name: araestel Website: Artist's Reflections

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Apart by Viggo Mortensen

you found my keys
on an angel's hip
moved half the fallen trees
from the frozen road.

this trip is
all i thought
it would be
and we're not
even 1/2 way yet.

if i can't touch you
with snow-hung firs
our only witnesses
can't have your eyes
when everyone's asleep
then the fire's almost out.

you ask the un-named
attractions to leave town
but keep checking
it i'm still around.

should we sidestep
putting fingers to
words tracing lips that
would inform us?

once said i'd missed
you every instant
before we'd met.
now believe we knew
how sad we'd be
apart.